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Crisis Mode​

What is the definition of this mode / level/ season someone is in – When in Crisis mode, you’re in survival mode, your marriage is on the brink of divorce or you’ve already contacted the divorce attorney to make provisions to get out of your marriage. You and/or your spouse’s needs are being neglected and you’re running on empty emotionally. In Crisis mode, you’re super, duper roommates and more negatives are seen in the marriage than positives. You can’t communicate without arguing and disrespect, contempt and mistreatment have become the norm. Here are some signs if you’re in Crisis mode:

  • I’m done with this, I’m OUT
  • She’s already called up the Divorce attorney or already taking steps to divorce
  • She’s ready to leave, but wondering is there still a chance it can work
  • Couple’s are no longer talking to each other – Super Duper Roommate situation; strangers living in the same household
  • Sexless marriage
  • Fussing and fighting whenever they are talking
  • Infidelity either physically or emotionally b/c they’re tired of going home to an unappreciative or nagging spouse
  • I can’t stand being in the same household or room with my spouse
  • Spouse has already moved out of the room or the house
  • The kids are traumatized from seeing the fighting and thought of divorce
  • My spouse isn’t doing enough to save the marriage
  • Do we really still want to be married?
  • Dividing the personal items
  • My world is falling apart
  • Not being seen, heard or appreciated
  • Don’t want my kids growing up in 2 separate households
  • Nothing I do is good enough
  • Struggling with infidelity 
  • I love my spouse and I don’t want to be married to anyone else, but I can’t keep living like this
  • Looking through social media dreaming up next spouse

Maintenance Mode

While you aren’t at the breaking point of your marriage, you realize there are some areas in which you need to continue to work on to ensure your marriage stays strong. Here are some signs in you’re in maintenance mode:

  • Been together so long, your marriage has gotten stale. Looking to bring back the spark
  • Don’t feel seen, heard or appreciated
  • Feels less than a man
  • Nothing I do is good enough
  • I don’t make enough money
  • Compares me to other people
  • My spouse over exaggerates everything
  • In-law Problems
  • Blended Family problems
  • Having a hard time communicating
  • Marriage lacks trust and intimacy
  • Understanding our role
  • Creating the blueprint for our marriage

Enrichment Mode

While in Enrichment mode, you’re very intentional about your marital growth. You’re in a great place and you’re always looking for resources and skills to maintain a healthy and thriving marriage. Here are some signs in you’re in enrichment mode:

  • Always looking to keep the spark going (they want to stay in the happy place)
  • Maintaining healthy communication
  • Maintaining conflict resolution
  • Learning how our spiritual gifts work together

Stacy

Stacy is a hard-working, professional, wife and mother who wants joy and peace in her marriage. She loves her husband but is tired of running around in circles to make things work and she’s considering divorce. This is not what she thought marriage was supposed to be. She’s tired of not being valued, tired of carrying the weight of the household, tired of being disrespected and tired of being tolerated. She’s tired of fussing and fighting and just wants to have a normal, mature, adult conversation without having the repercussions of childish temper tantrums. She wants to trust her husband, grow with her husband and have a happy, successful marriage and wonderful family where they work together as a team.

Jeff

Stacy is a hard-working, professional, wife and mother who wants joy and peace in her marriage. She loves her husband but is tired of running around in circles to make things work and she’s considering divorce. This is not what she thought marriage was supposed to be. She’s tired of not being valued, tired of carrying the weight of the household, tired of being disrespected and tired of being tolerated. She’s tired of fussing and fighting and just wants to have a normal, mature, adult conversation without having the repercussions of childish temper tantrums. She wants to trust her husband, grow with her husband and have a happy, successful marriage and wonderful family where they work together as a team.